Span of a Heartbeat
by erf10722
Summary: In a heartbeat, everything can change. My world can be flipped upside down. But maybe it's worth it if the rest of the world is flipped right side up.
1. Chapter 1

**This was a request from one of my favorite reviewer DreadfulStar! She likes death and destruction, so be mindful of upcoming tragedies. She guessed the plot correctly for "Aid to the Helpless." Remember, you don't have to actually guess some plot component for me to write a story for you! Just PM me! "Span of a Heartbeat" and "Somewhere only We Know" are both suggestions!**

**I don't own the Outsiders.**

* * *

"I am as old as I have ever been." Johnny and I were sitting in the lot, legs crossed, cigarettes ablaze, and this mantrum kept running through my head.

Well, actually, only Johnny had a cigarette lit. Darry figured out a useful and annoying as hell parenting technique: using cigarettes as rewards.

I don't have any money, and Darry forbade the gang to give me cancer sticks anymore. So, whenever I do something wrong or I have a track meet coming up, or Darry just needs an outlet for his anger (it seems like that's happening alot lately) He'll put me on "Smokes probation."

So anyway, I was thinkin' about how two years ago, My parents died, then six months later, Johnny and I were almost killed by a Socs. We would both be dead now if Soda and Darry hadn't followed me after I ran out that night.

I was grateful for my life, and at the same time, a little resentful that my brothers didn't trust me. But more grateful.

But it really dawned on me that every second I was getting a little older, a little wiser, hopefully a little taller.

"Whatcha thinkin about Pony?" Johnny asked softly, flicking his ashes at a colony of ants that had made a home in the dried Tulsa grass.

"Cigarettes." I answered immediately. Johnny and I didn't really tell eachother everything anymore. When we did talk, it was about girls, booze, and drag races.

Afterall, I was sixteen and Johnny was eighteen. We needed to act our age. I wasn't really allowed to watch sunsets anymore, because the gang made fun of me too much.

Also, it's kinnda gay to tell a guy everything. People in Tulsa are really conscious about that sort of thing, and Soda and Steve were jumped a while back for always hangin' out together. Actually, a long while back, almost a year.

They don't hand out exclusively together anymore, and Steve doesn't really think of me as a tag-along kid anymore.

I guess this is just growing up, but I don't like it. I wish I was still fourteen, that Soda was still the person I loved most in the world, and that Two-Bit was still always jokin' around.

When Dally left us, everything changed. He sort of just left for New York with out any warning and only a note that literally said "I'm going to New York. See ya greasers, Dally." He left the note at Bucks, and it took us two weeks to find any evidence of it, because Buck couldn't read it, so figured it wasn't important. Dally isn't all that great of a speller.

On the plus side, I got my first book published. Well, sort of. I went under a pen name. Darry didn't want any press or anything, so we got the money from it, but no credit. I guess that's ok. Since we got the money, we are more middle class.

Actually, speakin of money, Steve is sort of a prodigy turns out. He's good at playing the stocks, which he found out when he somehow "accidently" won over a million dollars, then gambled it all away thinking that he could increase it. Greedy pig.

So, we're all pretty much just living the good life.

* * *

When Johnny and I arrived home from the lot, a rare scene met our eyes. The entire gang (save Dallas) was watching (and thoroughly making fun of) and old episode of little house on the prairie.

I think the gang has more fun watching bad movies than good ones sometimes. Johnny and I sat on the floor like we used to when we were little, and for a second I felt completely relaxed.

Then, quite suddenly, pain exploded throughout my body.

It felt as though I were a tube of toothpaste, being squeezed by an invisible hand so that all of the blood left my heart, leaving it dried and burning and went to my head, where it couldn't escape my thick skull, but I knew that at any second my head would explode and my heart would come out through my ears.

I think I screamed. I didn't feel the hands pinning me down, but I knew they were there because when it stopped, quite as suddenly as it started, Darry, Soda and Steve were pinning me down.

"Pony, What the hell happened?" Darry roared, but he didn't sound angry, more confused and scared. I didn't even know Darry could sound that way.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered. I didn't feel any pain now, save a beer bottle poking painfully into my back.

"Are you ok, man?" Soda asked. He had let go of me, and gestured for the others to do the same.

"I-uh-" I felt tears brim in my eyes. _Don't cry, don't cry _I repeated to myself. I think Steve saw the tears that threatened to spill, but he didn't laugh like he would have a few years ago.

I guess since I cry less often now, people think it's a bigger deal. "I-um-" I tried again.

"Were you in pain? Where did it hurt?"

"Yeah, no, it's fine. Um, I- goodnight." I sort of scurried out of the living room and collapsed on my bed.

I found myself asking the same question that Darry had. "What the hell just happened?" I said aloud to the darkness. It didn't answer.

There was a knock on my door, and Soda entered without waiting for an answer. "Just making sure you're ok. You want to go to bed early?" I saw a glimpse of my used-to-be compassionate brother.

"Yeah, I'm going to. Goodnight."

"Night."

* * *

**_Soda POV _**

I woke in the middle of the night with a jolt. Screaming was coming from Pony boy's room, a sound I hadn't heard since he was thirteen.

I don't think it was a nightmare this time though. He was writhing around on the bed in pain, whimpering and screaming, and clutching at his throat.

I suddenly felt the old paternal instinct that I had always displayed towards him when he was little. He had sort of decided after a fight that he was too old to need his older brother, and I tried to understand, as Darry and I had been through the same thing.

But it was so hard with Pony. I just wanted him to stay young forever, or at least act young forever. I wouldn't wish immortality on my worst enemy.

He had calmed down, and was just sort of whimpering now. I lay down next to him and lay my head on his chest, listening to the race of his frantic heart.

_"I missed this." _I thought, before I drifted off.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing. Thankyou soo, soo much for reviewing. You guys make me smile:)**

* * *

I woke up groggily and automatically checked the time next to the bed. It was five in the morning. It was strange that I was awake at this time of day. I always sleep like a log.

I think my pounding headache woke me up. It wasn't as acute as when I felt as if my organs were being mushed up into my head, but it was plenty painful.

I gasped lightly. Someone stirred next to me, and I was surprised to fine a head of tousled blonde hair laying next to me in bed. I smiled and felt a lot better all of the sudden.

I remembered that I hadn't done my homework the night before and I groaned. I was getting b's in math and english, although I hadn't told Darry yet.

The truth is that school was _hard. _In middle school I could get A's without even trying, but in high school I had to struggle to get b's.

My language arts teacher hated me. She was a real jerk named "Mrs. Reynolds." I suppose that she didn't like me because in the beginning of the year, I sent her a letter basically insulting her teaching style. Although I had to admit, she had taught me a lot.

I sighed and began to scribble the answer to an assignment. Thinking about the Cold War and feminism and whatever else was going on in the world and writing about it was like putting my migraine on steroids.

I didn't notice that I wasn't paying attention anymore. I felt light headed and I found it difficult to breathe, as if some of the oxygen was getting lost on the way to my lungs.

I gasped greedily at the air and staggered back over to my bed, breathing as though I had just run a marathon. Shit.

I swore under my breath. Running. I had a track tournament today. Some scouts would be there. I knew it was unlikely that I could get into college on a track scholarship. There was this kid, Jack Howard, who was much better at everything than me. He was a nice kid, pretty rich though. I felt bad for hating his guts.

I closed my eyes, dreading the coming day.

* * *

I was right to dread school that day. I found out that I got a C on my midterm, meaning that I had to get an 100 on the final in order to get an A in the class.

I thought mournfully that I wouldn't be seeing much of my friends or family for the next few months. Not until summer.

I had almost _cried _in english because she had picked on me in front of the whole class, using my presentation as an example of what _not _to do.

Anyway, I was relieved to be making my way onto the track. Jack Howard grinned at me. "Hey Ponyboy!" Sometimes I wonder how he can stand being so nice and smart.

"Hi Jack."

"You nervous?"

"Uh, yeah a little."

"Ah, don't be. You're gonna do fine." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "I heard that coach told the scout to look out for you. You really have a good chance."

"Yeah, but your the better runner." He grinned again.

"But they aren't going to be looking for me. They're from Tulsa community college. They'd be lucky to have you." TCC. Perhaps not the best school, but the best school my family could afford to send me to. Some people dream of going to Harvard or Parsons, but I just wanted to go to TCC.

"Thanks Jack. We should probably warm up now." As we began to stretch, chatting happily with the team, two people walked onto the field and began to speak earnestly to coach. _The scouts. _I thought.

I began to sweat and I choked on my water as I downed it. "You ok?" Jack asked concernedly. I nodded over at the scouts.

"Don't worry. Just pretend they aren't even here. You've gotten first in your event each time." My even was the mile run. Probably the most popular event, and therefore the most competitive.

The competing high school stretched a few yards away from us and the spectators began to trickle onto the field.

Soda waved cheerily at me, and I waved back. Darry looked tense, his eyes directed at the scouts. So he had noticed too that this was a bigger game than I had let on.

Two-Bit was commentating of course. He maintained a C average just so that he could blab at sporting events and people were forced to listen. The audience couldn't get enough of his jokes, and there was one group of girls that only went to these events because of him.

It was perhaps lucky that my event was first because my heart was already pounding so hard it sounded like it was against a microphone.

"On your marks," Two-Bit said excitedly. "Get set...GO!" The less experienced runners raced ahead, grinning as they left behind the eleventh and twelfth graders.

As usual when I ran, I began to hear songs in my head. I wish that there was a way for me to listen to music as I ran, but I just had to settle for my brain approximations of Elvis.

The track was small, so we had to round it five times. I started breathing hard during the second round. The younger students had all fallen behind, some of them even walking.

I was surprised to find that I was the first sophmore. Jack was usually ahead of me, but he was lagging behind today.

I was in maybe tenth overall, but I was pretty confident I could beat all of the juniors and maybe a couple of seniors.

On the third lap, it began to get really hard. I was panting and my legs burned but I pushed forwards. _What's wrong with you? _

I wasn't usually this slow or tired by only the third lap. Then, quite suddenly I felt a stabbing pain. It hurt so much, I couldn't even tell where it came from. I cried out and fell, but I didn't register reaching the ground.

_A soc must have stabbed me. _I guessed. There could be no other possible explanation. But as I looked blearily for the offender, I found no one except a concerned face looming above me.

I began to convulse with the pain, and I think I was screaming.

The last thing I remember is seeing two figures running across the field to me. Darry and Soda would save me, I thought naively.


	3. Chapter 3

So, I've decided to leave the outsiders fandom sooner thn I thought, but I'm still stressed out because I didn't finish these stories. Any of you can finish them if you want, but I've decided to tell you how they all would end (don't read on if you don't want)

Aid to the helpless: Ida was going to die before Johnny. Eventually, Johnny was going to die, and die alone. Dally kind of goes down the drain (alcohal abuse, such) He leaves tulsa after Johnny dies and basically just starts a picket fence life in Massachusetts trying to forget his past. Two-Bit and Steve joined one of those groups that tries to purposely get aids (yeah, I know, they exsist...insane) And you kind of just infer that they die. Soda, Darry, and Pony are basically left to raise Austin, who is disabled and was confined to a wheelchair for his entire life. It ends hopefully though. Austin goes to Massachusetts when he's eighteen (going to college at MIT...cuz Johnny's brother would of COURSE be super smart) and meets Dal. Basically, Dally's angry because the Curtis' never told Austin about Johnny, or even that he exsisted. So, the final death toll is Johnny, Steve, Two-Bit, Ida, (and there's foreshadowing Austin isn't gonna be around much longer.). SOOO...you see why that story was discontinued.

First Amendment: I'm really sad that people didn't like this story, because it was talking about the REALLY dynamic changes of the 60's. Basically, Steve was going to start dating Syball and be completely ridiculed. One day, she was shot for entering a bar with him, and Steve goes completely mad with grief. He becomes super hippy-ish and democratic. He goes to all these peace rallys and, long story short (literally) he meets lots of people that basically tell him new ideals. By the way, Two-Bit was shot at woodstock and Soda was left unable to walk in Nam. Anyway, the story ends with Steve attending stonewall, which was basically this hotel/bar thing that police tried to shut down because it was gay, and they finally got super violent. It basically was the turning point of gay rights. Then they skipped a lot of years into the 80's with the AIDs epidemic and end of second front womens liberation. Steve gets wrapped up in the cause for pro-choice abortion and he starts a clinic (no, he's not a doctor) to abort babies healthily and freely. He speant years and years in jail until 2013. Finally, you skip to this year, and Steve is an old man with cancer. He decides that he wants to go down fighting, and he goes into a store in Arizona with ALOT of gay people and they all dress up really obviously like gay people, and the guys at the store are total jerks so they tell them to leave (which is legal in some states- if someone looks gay, you can tell them to leave.) They refuse, the police come, and Steve pulls a Dally. The last part is Soda (who grew apart from Steve when he left and became SUPER liberal) reading about Steve's life and struggles in the New York Times and just being really proud of his buddy. It sounds lamer when I say it like this...

Span of a Heartbeat: This one is pretty obvious. Pony dies from a heart attack just with a whole bunch of drama.

Somewhere only we Know: I love this story. Johnny's plan was to over throw the gang of Socs. He finally tells the gang about his dilemma (except for Pony because he's too young.) The socs are just completely after Johnny and he's FREAKED out. Cherry and Marcia were basically bad omens. When Pony wasn't listening, they told Johnny that Bob had made him an offer: bring himself and Pony or the rest of the gang. Johnny, being the practical person he is, brought himself and Pony to Bob (in the part after Pony is done getting "beat up" by Darry) He had a plan all along to kill Bob. He did that then goes to Dally to a predetermined location (Windrixville) There would have been this huge train scene (while Pony was sleeping) that basically Bob's men tried to assassinate Johnny. He got shot, but didn't tell Pony about it because he didn't want the kid to get the electric chair if they went back to Tulsa. So, Johnny makes a plan that he doesn't really tell you about for a long time. The whole events of the book happen, except that the socs set the fire in the church in an attempt to assasinate Johnny. Dally was in on the plan. but Pony sort of ruined it by going in there. Johnny followed, and found one of the socs trapped. He saved the soc, but was hit by the rafter. In the hospital, Johnny tells Dally everything. His plan was to make a deal with the socs for his life as long as the feud between the greasers and the sharks ended because the greasers didn't even know who they were fighting. Johnny tells Dally that he was planning on pulling a gun on the cops because that's the kind of death the Socs would expect of him. The death is the same, but in the last chapter, Dally takes Johnny's place. The socs were watching from afar (because they are wanted by the cops and don't want to be caught) so Dally and Johnny actually died so that the feud would end between the greasers and socs would end.

I just want to thank you guys so much. I know that this "note" is sortof obnoxious, pompous, and unortodox, but I didn't want to leave everything so incomplete. Please, feel free to finish these off. Have fun.

By the way, thank you SO much to Mickeycatorangeya who has really been very helpful and fun to talk to.

Thanks to everyone who ever reviewed, favorited, or read my stories. I love you all!

erf10722


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